The Mind and the Pen

For Christmas I and two of my sisters were given The Young Ladies' Course for Proper Writing by Becky Moorecraft. Each lesson has a lecture, questions, and, perhaps our favorite, writing exercises. So far we've only done two lessons.

The last exercise was interesting: take some publication (I used the workbook) and find at least ten interesting words or phrases in four categories. Then write a short story, poem, three-paragraph essay, blog post, etc. Needless to say, blog post appealed to me.

Gathering the words was fun:

NOUNS:
status quo
innocence
shiver
frailty
oddity
disgust
woe
loveliness
image
vehicle
refinement

VERBS:
tantalize
diminish
infest
distort
pour out
crush
gasp
swell
journey
hone
glean
gambol

MODIFIERS:
graceful
barefaced
ramshackle
poetic
adequate
thick
mere
trippingly
untutored
exceedingly
exact

The last category was the most interesting: phrases or quotations.

"I'm conscious of many people as I write."
"into the jaws of death"
"a reminder of all the choices"
"the mind travels faster than the pen"
"careful interpretation and application"
"putting into it the squirrel as well as the mountain"
"spoken words are slippery"
"I haven't had time to make it shorter" (This was a quote from Blase Pascal, who apologized for writing a long letter, saying he didn't have time to make it shorter. I immediately delighted in this quote. I often when writing-such as this very post-feel that it'd be better shorter, but how to explain myself in such a short time? It'd take a lot of thought.)
"compensating merit"
"fashioned as for the palace" (a quote from Solomon, I believe)
"my portion, rich and full" (another Bible quotation)

After scanning these words, what is your overall impression or thought? Mine was clear, and I knew I would be writing about writing and posting it here. This is what I wrote.


The Mind and The Pen

The mind travels faster than the pen. At least the unfiltered images that swell in my mind press against the tip of my dull pencil as they attempt to pour out onto the lines of my notebook. It's the vehicle for refining my thoughts, for crafting untutored ideas into exact and graceful flow, for honing the oddities into acceptable propositions. 

I'm conscious of many people as I write. Mere need to express is tantalizing to me, but words are slippery. Which have compensating merit to be taken from the barefaced frailty that infests my mind and tutored into poetic loveliness? What is adequate and worthy of being fashioned in the palace style? Considering the unfiltered impulses that gambol through my thoughts, unique and far from status quo, I am reminded of all the choices, of the exceedingly vast journeys that I might probe with my pen. Which is one from which others might glean some benefit, to find our time profitably spent? This requires careful interpretation. 

Mostly my musings remain rather ramshackle; though I attempt to put in the squirrel as well as the mountain, yet not distort my thought or disgust the reader, the journey is often too tedious for others to take after me. So I sometimes gambol alone, for I haven't had time to make it shorter.

This reminds me of an assignment for the poetry writing class I am taking this semester. We had to write an "Ars Poetica," a poem about poetry. By "had" I mean that that was what we learned about that week. Poetry being what it is, we aren't really required to follow the assignments given each week.

I almost didn't, because I knew what I wanted to write about (the drive to write poetry in order to understand my own thoughts), and I had some ideas of what to write (for example, explicitly what I meant, something like the essay above, and some ideas for a metaphor), but nothing was inspiring.

Then the idea of a pit of snakes came to mind, and I decided to pursue it. I wasn't excited about it until I was well into it.

Organizing Thoughts by Poem

The rocky dirt cuts at my hands
as I scoot close to the sharp edge
like an army-crawling soldier.
Peering down at the neon colors
weaving in and out like a living rug,
I realize I’ve avoided my task for too long.
I must get these serpents in order
before they multiply enough
to escape the dark hole they inhabit.
Struggling to lift my cold iron tongs,
I extend my arm deep into the abyss.
The muscles in my calves tighten
and my toes, digging into the ground, ache.
My eyes squeeze shut
as with both hands I close the tong’s jaws
around the closest snake,
waving its head at me like an enemy flag.
Pushing up digs my elbows into the sandy gravel,
driving stones into my skin like a million BBs.

I shudder at the almond-shaped pupil,
reminding me of Quasimodo, my yellow-eyed cat.
I shrink from its squarish face,
reminding me of a Chinese dragon.
Moving the tongs to one hand, with the other
I grasp the clear plastic storage box,
Pulling it towards me and stuffing in the vibrating snake.
I slap down the lid and latch on both handles
lest it nose its way out.
The hissing creature squirms,
but now I clearly see its body through the plastic:
Jonny green and taxi yellow,
White scales along its back like lightning bolts,
holes like gills above its bloody red dragon mouth.
I glance from the caged creature
to the tangled mass below.
One set,
twenty-one thousand to go.

Again extending my arm against the rough wall,
I am startled by a face rising
like a gray Loch Ness monster.
With eyes darting about as if searching
for flesh in which to sink its thick round teeth,
it is already tasting the air with its tongue,
both shiny black like oil.
With tongs quivering in my hand,
I nudge the smooth head towards the plastic walls
waiting like an empty cell.
Silently the creature dives in,
rippling over the box’s edge
and coiling at the bottom as if it belonged there.
Tongs clattering to the ground, I slap down the lid,
click on the handles, and swivel against the box,
heart pounding, fingers resting in the dust.
Two done,
twenty-one thousand to go.

What do you think? Can you tell what I'm doing with it? Some people can and some people have to have it explained.

Sorry for the length, but "I hadn't time to make it shorter."

Planning My Time

I have made it my practice since starting this blog to write a New Year's Eve post. I am a little late this year, but here it is. There are many ways that I could write this, many different things that I could focus on, many ideas running through my mind. The summary of any one month this past year could have material enough for several posts.

Early on New Year's Day morning in another of our 3:30 am conversations, Rebekah and I were discussing how a year ago we never would have imagined things being as they are now and wondering what it will be like a year from now. This year has been full of changes for the Beerbower family. A year ago, none of us had been in a relationship, and next year, we'll have two weddings. That alone is change a' plenty. Six months ago when my siblings started dating seems like a long time ago. Something I've thought about frequently the past year is that although time seems to go increasingly fast, a great many things can happen in a short time.

There are many things that I want to accomplish this year. I made a long list of things I want to do and learn. Not all shall be accomplished, but as we said early on New Year's Day when we went around, sharing a New Year's Resolution (or something we wanted to do this year), "without a plan the people perish," and as Ben is fond of saying, "Anything worth doing is worth doing badly."

We had an enjoyable group of my immediate family and some delightful friends, and some almost-family. Before we did resolutions, everyone was compelled to say something that they did last year that was big or they really enjoyed. There was quite a variety from our group, ranging from four "got engaged" to lost a tooth and growing a new one (Kristen :-) to an epic vacation to got a book published. Then I suggested we share resolutions. These were also varied, ranging from getting married to not dying to graduating from college to becoming more musical to writing another book to accomplishing everyone else's resolutions (we made Chris change that...) to buying new socks to reading more books.

That was mine, one of my 30-some goals for the year. I started a list on which I will write any book I think of that I desire to read, and I will also keep a list of books I have completed. Thus I hopefully shall get more read. In addition, I hope to keep a reading journal about the books I read to aid in remembering and pondering what I read.

Once again, I have several goals regarding prayer. For a number of years the Holy Spirit has been drawing me to become faithful in this. I have gone through phases, but in general I haven't been very consistent or faithful. One way I am planning to accomplish this is by studying A Call to Spiritual Reformation: Priorities from Paul and His Prayers by D. A. Carson, a book that I started last year and have found very helpful, and Wrestling Prayer, by Eric Ludy, of which I can say the same. I reread the first several chapters of the first one, and my goal for this month is to apply one suggestion he has, which is to read the prayers of Paul (printed in the book) every day and see how that transforms my prayers.

There are a number of accomplishments on my list, such as finish writing a book, do a sewing project, finish Ryan and Grace's scrapbook, get my driver's license, find a way to get income (taking pictures or something like that or get a job), learn to cook different things, begin a letter-writing correspondence, complete the proper writing course that we got for Christmas.

Some are a little less definitive and concrete, such as building relationships with some younger girls, learn to study the Bible on my own (using How to Study the Bible by Kay Arthur, another leftover project from last year), memorize more, learn to take more initiative, develop photography skills, organize my clothes and desk, control computer time and free time.

Actually, learning to make the most of the time is a main reason that I made this list. It's something that I've considered this year. It's something that you think about when you have the last Christmas night and morning as a family with all its members you will probably ever have. It's something you think about when you realize that in just over four months, for the first time one of your siblings will not live at home. That in a year, two will not be around in the day-to-day happenings but rather come for visits. When you realize that what has occupied a good portion of many evenings, a visit from your sister's boyfriend or fiancee late into the evening, soon won't be so regular, when your little sister says about the eldest, "but it was fun having her here, right?", when you realize that this could be the last ride you and your brother have to school together.

None of these things are bad things, and I think I have begun to learn that change is often good. But nothing stays the same; each day progresses a little, and some do a lot. What matters is people, and thus every moment should be treasured and delighted in. To everything there is a season. I realized this past year that I have had time that many people do not have, being very free from much responsibility. Someone told me that he wished he had that time, and to use it and not take it for granted.

Making the most of the time is something that you think about when you lose someone you love. I had forgotten that I started the year thinking about that. It was almost a year ago when I wrote my post after my friend died. 

There isn't time to waste. I don't want to watch movies by myself when I've got a little sister who wants to play a game. Or check Facebook again, when there are books to be read. Or let my thoughts wander, when there are friends who need prayer. Or indulge in sleep when there are words to be written. Or engage in meaningless chatter when there are people who can teach me and people who need encouragement.

The most important thing I have learned--but only begun learning--this year is that Christ is more than sufficient, that I need trust Him, that everything means nothing without Him. It is good to find yourself saying these things, and realize that what you are saying is a cliche, but you didn't say it because it was; rather, you understand why it became one: because it is true. And in a small way, I have experienced it. No, not in a small way. God did it, so it isn't small. But it is beginning

That is what gives me hope for the next year, knowing that the Lord of time is in control and though I will fail to accomplish in this next year all that I wish I would, I know that He will bless my time. A verse that I have been considering recently is, "A man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."