Searched and Known

O LORD, You have searched me--

I've memorized the passage, and this time expected to read through it quickly. But that was as far as I got.

O LORD, You have searched me--

I thought I would focus more on the next line, the part I had been thinking about: "and known me." But my eyes wouldn't go past these words. I tried to go on, but they stopped.

O LORD, You have searched me--

I can't even imagine how many times I have read or heard that line. But I don't think I ever really thought about that before. I've always kind of lumped it together with "and known me." But it says, You have searched me.

Have you ever considered that the Lord searched you?

I don't know if that's an important distinction, but it struck me. Of course, God knows all things, so His searching out isn't quite the same as ours. But even speaking of Him as searching you out is kind of mind-boggling. Not that He just knows, but that He puts effort into it. I thought of it as when you have a dear friend and you observe her, note her responses, remember what she likes and does not, listen to what she says, draw out her ideas, because you seek to know and understand her and how she thinks. Why? Because you delight in her, care about her, want to know what to do to please and encourage her.

And God did this for us?

I was going to read Psalm 139 because I was rejoicing and in awe of God's care for me-that God, God the Creator, the Lord of the universe, understands me better than I do myself, that He "knows my thoughts afar off."  Now even more the thought arrested me: He knows me, not on accident, not because He is God so He has to know everything, but because He has searched me, because He cares for me, because He chose to.

We tend to diminish everything about God. Naturally, for we cannot comprehend how much bigger He is. And naturally because, everyone is naturally afraid of what he does not know, of things he cannot control, of things that are different than what he is used to. So we diminish His glory, His perfection, His judgement, His sovereignty, and His love.

It makes sense, without the wisdom that is from above.

I mean, who, if they really knew you, completely, fully, with all your faults and hidden sins, could really love you? Maybe a man could, knowing the sin in his own life. But God? Perfection, loving me? And not because, y'know, it's that family member you really ought to know and love; they're family, after all; but if it weren't for that, you'd never try. No, but He chose and searched me out - me, a creature that He formed - discovered all my faults, faults that no one else knows, and loves me still.

Such love is humbling. It reminds me of a quote I love from Aslan: "That is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content."

God's love is so abundant. I mean, sending Jesus to die for us, propitiation so we don't have to go to hell, and caring for our needs is way more than we deserve. And that would be enough to boggle our minds: a holy God sacrificing to save sinners, providing for their needs.

But God isn't paying child support. He is a true Father. The best sort of father who understands His child in such a way that He knows him, what he will do and what he needs, better than His child does. He is "acquainted with all my ways." He has searched out His child.

Pretty awesome, isn't it?

"Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it."