I am Lot

I have lived the life of Lot.

I have moved on in the name of peace, giving up that which would have led me closer to God in order to avoid conflict.

I have chosen the valley that appeared most fruitful for my family, never realizing I was greedy and liked the excitement of being near sin.

I have sought to protect what is good and holy, and done it by sacrificing my daughters to the appetite of wicked men.

I have sought to witness to those around me, and when time for movement has come, they think I am joking and not five will follow.

I have been grieved by the wickedness around me, and I have done nothing about it.

I have tried to get the world to see the light, and I have left my family in the dark.

I have left the state of evil I was in, but only because I was dragged out.

I am Lot's wife. I have acted in submission, but my heart was back in sin. 

I have lived the life of Solomon.

I have been blessed for my desire to serve God's people, and I have used those blessings for my own devices.

I have been given so many things, and I have allowed them to turn my heart away from God.

I have sought love, and I have allowed that desire to put idols in my life.

I have known God's Word, and I have made alliances with His enemies.

I have loved the Lord and followed Him, and I have continued serving idols.


Does this seem wicked? It is, more than I can understand. Does this seem extreme? Examine your own heart, and see if these things are not so.

I long to live the life of Abraham, God's friend.

I have loved where I am, but I want to leave when God calls.

I have been unable to imagine how a miracle can be done in me, but I want to believe God anyway.

I have heard of my family being taken captive, and I want to go after them.

I have to face an incredible army. Will I have men who know God is with me who are willing to follow me even to death?

I have won a battle, but have I refused the spoil to give only God the glory?

I have trusted God to give me an heir, but I want to trust Him as I obey His command to kill it.

I long to live the life of David, a man after God's own heart. 

I have been offended by the insults of the wicked against God. Now am I going to fight?

I have been promised blessing by God. Will I wait on His timing to receive it?

I have been oppressed by my authority. Will I still honor and obey?

I have let my eyes linger and lust, and acted on it. Will I humble myself when I am confronted by my sin?

I have caused the death of my son. Will I mourn my sin before the Lord?

I have trusted in the number of my armies. Will I throw myself upon the mercies of my God?

I have gotten cold and weary. Will I establish a godly heir?

I long for all these things, but I fail.

And yet, I have lived the life of Lot.. My sins have not been punished as they deserve. So often I have escaped the snare which I have set for myself. Although I was prone to linger, God always sends His angels to take me by the hand and force me to move.

In the end, I am righteous.

But I want the legacy of Abraham, not of Lot. Of David, not of Solomon.

Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.

                                         - 1 Corinthians 3:12-15