Dear Ruthie

I met you almost exactly two years ago.

We were going to a concert that our sister church in Bloomington apparently put on every year. We, not including you. Unaware that we were missing anything, we didn't know you existed.

None of us knew you except for Jonny. We heard he was bringing his friend from college to the concert. When I discovered that his friend wasn't a guy, I was surprised. Naturally we assumed you were interested in each other, unaware of the Bloomington connection.

There was much confusion about rides, which I shall not attempt to recall or describe. Suffice it to say, though I hadn't planned on going, I wanted to and I was told there was room...and we discovered when we got there that there was not. As we confirmed this year, we all know that something will be confusing and complicated, or it's just not right. Ironically, my gentlemanly brother let me go, briefly met you in the church office parking lot, and left.

So, suddenly you were on a long drive with six people, knowing only one. We didn't know you hardly even knew Jonny.

I wondered what you thought of us. We were very comfortable together, and acted no differently with this friend of Jonny's. That was all we knew, really, though perhaps we knew you were in engineering. And I found your name fascinating--I wonder if we talked about it. We wanted to name the twins we always wanted Mom to have Ruth and Naomi, and I always liked the name Ruth. But now, it sounds kind of incomplete, and I prefer Ruthie. I wonder if you told us your name was Ruthanne, or if I just wondered if Ruthie or Ruth was your real name.

I don't really remember telling you about Ryan and Grace's wedding, but since Mercy and I were both there and at that time it was never too far from my mind, it doesn't surprise me that we did. You must have told us that you were going to do a co-op in Bloomington and that was why Jonny invited you, so you had connection to a church.

I can picture a place along the highway where we were having a conversation. I know Rebekah and I were talking with you, but I cannot remember what exactly it was about. I think you might have told us about one of the many places you've visited or that your sister lived in Japan. It's interesting to think that these vague things I scarcely remember were probably about your mission trips to China and Romania, living in the Dominican, your family's travels, your tree story, and so forth. I don't remember much. Though I liked this friendly, quiet girl (as I think I had thought), I didn't expect to see her again.

The most vivid memory I have of you on that trip was on the way back. You had volunteered to sit in the front (somehow discerning that I didn't want to, already able to read me well). They had been joking and warning you about how Rebekah and Jonny's brother Ben drove slowly, never above the speed limit. When we stopped for gas, after Ben shut the door, you turned around, with that wide-eyed, very expressive look that I love, and said, "He does drive slowly!" And of course, as always, nothing that you say can be properly written down, for the words cannot relay your indescribably wonderful voice. At that point, I picture you as I know you now. Other than that, I cannot quite see you as yourself.

I saw you once again soon after that. You visited college group at Nick and Heidi's apartment once. I remember which wall you sat against and that Joy was there that night too. Other than that, I remember more about sitting on the couch by Ryan and Grace and joking about Gerald with them than anything about you that night.

I met you again one year ago. After discovering the Bloomington concert, we went back. As we sat in the pews, I recognized someone in the choir. "There's Ruthie!" I told Rebekah, pointing you out.

Afterwards, we talked to you. You were surprised to see us, I think, and that I remembered you, and I think I may have gotten my first Ruthie hug. I remember you saying that you were coming back in January and that you would come to our church.

After the rest of a stuffed-full, delightful December and a bit of January, I had forgotten that you might come until one Sunday I saw you. "Ruthie's here!" I said to whoever was beside me--Melody, perhaps. "Who's Ruthie?" she asked. "She went to the concert with us last year. I forgot she said she was coming here." I believe I went over and said hi to you.

I don't remember much of the beginning of that year. I remember when you were going to be in the Student Union at UT doing some sort of presentation, so I decided to go see if you were there. I think I may have startled you. Eric had just filled out a form and got a water bottle. You started telling me that your time was about done, but I could talk to this other guy--but I said good, I wasn't really interested in computers but in talking with you.

Then I walked out to the car with you. I don't remember a lot of what we discussed, but I remember pretty clearly where we walked and thinking that I really liked this Ruthie. We went past this fence and into this parking lot in an area I did not know on the side of campus closest to Engineering--now a quite familiar area.

We discussed school, and I think that I told you then why I had decided to go to school, and for the first time perhaps I went away smiling because of your encouragement. And also for perhaps the first time I noted your sweet gray-green Explorer. I like your car. The color is cool, and it always makes me excited when I recognize people's vehicles. Mostly, though, I get excited when I see it because I expect to see you.

Even though I don't remember much before then, I considered you a good friend by the time you agreed to come to our women's summer Bible study. That was about the time you decided to stay in the apartment at the Armentrouts'. Both of those things made me happy. I found it amusing when you and Mrs. Armentrout both appeared at Bible study unbeknownst to the other. "I could have told you that," I said.

Probably the reason I don't remember becoming friends with you is that, as you have sometimes kind of complained (or as close to complaining as you get), you just fit in so well so quickly, that everyone assumes you know things you haven't been told. Because we just can't--or don't want to--imagine life without Ruthie. That's the worst. 

Then there was Backyard Bible club--two of them, actually. You added so much fun to BYBC, and there you got more taste of the craziness that is the Beerbower family, the "vortex that once you're sucked in you cannot escape from," as Uncle Al said.

Although that might have been more at the Exaltation concert in May, where you said you fell in love with my family. I loved how you fit in so well, how you appreciate my parents, how Mom (and later Aunt T) makes you die laughing, how the kids love you. Although, "everyone loves Ruthie."

As you would say, True, that. No, but really.

Your calm, peace-loving and always sweet disposition is the perfect complement to our family's exuberant, dry-humored and always sarcastic nature. As is your realistic discipline to our free-spirited, that-sounds-fun impulsive tendencies, and your unbending calm confidence that won't stoop to indulge our love of a good argument and the way we "state [our] opinions as commonly accepted fact."

I delight in your adorable voice and your way of speaking. I often remember once when you said, "Jeannettie, you're coming with!" I know that's silly, but you were happy I was coming and your voice and way of speaking are so delightful. Plus I especially enjoy how you say my name. And it makes me happy that you always call me Jeannettie, as only a few certain people who really love me do.

I love the goofy, eyebrow-raising, wide-eyed face you put on for my pictures. (The first time I noticed that at the camping trip, I thought, That just happened! Okay, maybe that was before I used that phrase...)Your height, perfect for giving real hugs, makes me happy. You don't know how much I appreciate your company, your interest in me, your indulgence when I want to verbally organize my thoughts, and your reliably practical and calm responses to my idealistic, flighty ramblings.

There are some people that when you think of them, you must simply marvel at God's graciousness to you that He put them in your life. You're one of them. Thinking of how God has worked in your life and connected it with ours, I can't help but rejoice. (I hope you do too, because you know we're never going to let you get away from us. :-)

As you would say, You're the best thing ever.

Truth.

I am so glad God blessed the world with you, Ruthie. Happy birthday. You're the best.

I love you, Ruthanne.

True story.


*Words in italics are copyrighted by the Ruthie-Jeannette phrase-stealing club and should be read in Ruthie's voice.

New Equipment

My favorite two presents came after Christmas. First, the 50mm. For those of you who always forget or never knew, a 50mm lens can have a very low aperture-1.8 is the one I have used-which means the lense opens wide, allowing much more light in, and creating a very shallow depth of field. It is a fixed lens, which means that it does not zoom. This results in a cheaper lens-in fact, the 1.8 is about the cheapest Canon lens you can get, ranging around $100.

I use the 50 almost constantly, but it was Ryan's lens. "Are you going to give me my lens for Christmas?" he asked. I told him I'd give it back, asking to keep it a bit longer. Then, when I tried to give it back, he wouldn't take it. "I feel bad," he said. "You probably enjoy it a lot more than I do."

"Just take it," I said.

Finally he did, saying, "Just get one."

I told him he could be glad I gave it back. "I can't stand not having it, so I'm going to end up getting one." Two days after Christmas, he sent us a deal, and Mom ordered it for me. I waited in anticipation. It arrived on New Year's Eve.

I excitedly wandered the house, taking pictures.

The first picture I took with my 50mm.

I was glad to have it before the New Year's Eve variety show, without which it would have been almost impossible to take pictures with my camera in the dim sanctuary.

A number of my favorites from there, all using the 50:

On Friday after Christmas, we celebrated with Dad's side of the family. I forgot to bring my tripod, and it seemed someone had gone back to get it. Dad came in, handing me...my tripod? It didn't look like my tripod. It was a new one-well, new to me, anyway-with professional written on one of the legs. It is very sturdy and adjustable.

I wasn't the only one with new photography equipment. On New Year's Eve, I enjoyed taking Rebekah's new 60D camera and filling her card with a couple hundred pictures. I had used it a bit at the variety show too, and took pictures that even with my 50 wouldn't have turned out on my camera. Needless to say, I liked her camera. Suddenly I realized I need a new one...soon, I hope, soon.

Since I don't feel like finishing this post, I shall post it and be done with it.

Things I love about Christmas

I love Christmas. There are many ways and many reasons. It starts long before Christmas, usually around October when we start playing Christmas songs. I love thinking of presents to give people and secretly securing or making them, though I did less of that this year. I love Christmas songs playing at stores and as we clean or whatever around the house. Within a week before Christmas, I don't like hearing any other songs. I love Christmas concerts and Christmas specials. I love caroling and Christmas parties. I love shopping and finding perfect gifts, even when I didn't have much idea. I love wrapping gifts, devising good disguises for easily-guessed presents. I love making Christmas cards, though I haven't done many the past few years.

All leading up to Christmas...

I love Christmas Eve almost as much as Christmas Day. What other day can you find four people secretly wrapping gifts at the same time? Well, that doesn't usually happen at our house either, but for some reason almost all of us left the wrapping until then. Maybe it's because we had a crazy, fun Christmas Adam (see last year's Christmas post if you don't know what that means-you know, Adam came before Eve) and on Christmas Adam Eve we celebrated Melody's birthday.

"Can I borrow the tape for a minute?"
"Are there any more sissors?"
"Got any scraps?"
"I'll have some after I wrap this."
"May I use your pens?"
 "GET OUT!"
"I'll get it. You can't go in there."
"What happened to Mom's present?"
"Did you take that marker?"
"Do you have Grandma's present?"

 I love the evening especially. Our first Christmas Eve service was enjoyable, and taking pictures was fun.

I was asked to take pictures for two families. Scarily, my battery died as I took pictures of the candlelight singing. I had forgotten it was almost dead, and as I had let my friend Parker borrow my extra battery on Sunday and forgotten to return it to my bag, I didn't have an extra. Thankfully, I had my battery charger in my bag, and a couple minutes of charging gave me plenty of time to take some precious photos.

This family has 27 grandkids, all twelve and under. It is also the first photo they have had as a group since there were 10 grandkids. Isn't that awesome? What a beautiful family.

Then I also got to take another family picture, all in red. They looked lovely, though I didn't do as well as I had hoped with them.

Kristen had taken a"wreath" of holly to wear, which was pretty cute. Melody pointed this out to me;  Mrs. Bayly was talking to Kristen as she stood beside her wheelchair. It was adorable.

I love Christmas Eve night. Playing games, commenting on the snow or lack of it, discussing what we'll have for breakfast, setting out the kids' presents and making initial comments, secreting things into stockings, heading to bed.

I love Christmas morning before presents.

Hurrying down as soon as you wake. Discussing who got up first. Finding the presents miraculously multiplied, the stockings filled to the brim (except for Mom's).
 

Listening to Glad playing in the background. Sneaking presents that have been forgotten in from the car. Wondering if we should wake Mom up.

"This is a ton of presents."
"Your stocking is stuffed this year."
"Is Deanna up?"
"Wanna play a game?"
"Is the bread rising?"
"I got up at three."
"Why did you wake me up?"

And then there's the inventory of the presents.

"Oh, here's my scrapbook paper!"
"I wonder what this is...there's coins in this side and something shakes on the other."
"Who is this for? I can't find a name."
"I wasn't feeling very creative. Eric got jipped on his fancy present."
"I know what this is!"
"Hm...this is like a cd disguised with some sort of ring thingie."
"I wonder what book you got Eric!"

Though we joked about just sticking our presents under the tree without wrapping them, this inventory is one of our most enjoyable parts of Christmas presents. Every year Dad decorates a present for each one of us. Melody's is the only one I seem to have gotten a clear picture of us. You can also see mine hidden behind the couch beside it. He wasn't feeling creative this year, though. Eric got a reuse from last year.

For breakfast, Melody made cinnamon bread like we did last year. It is simpler than cinnamon rolls and SO delicious. We also had leftover cranberry bread.

I love praying and reading the Christmas story before presents. Kristen wanted to pray as usual. She started out normally for her. "Thank You what we could open presents." (Like Paul before her, she has this odd habit of using what rather than that.) Then, "...and thank You what it's not about presents but it's about Jesus. Amen."

It was absolutely adorable.

Then Dad prayed and read the Christmas story. We have a book that puts some of the prophesies of Jesus, the story of His birth, the shepherds, and the wisemen, all together in one place which Dad has used the past few years.

I love opening presents. I love getting to see people's reactions to presents I've been waiting to give them.

Deanna seemed to like the headband I got her. At least she wore it all day.

Eric was excited about his hat. He wore it most of the day and called Grandma when he realized he'd left it at Aunt T's.

  

Amy liked her cover. How could you not? It's soft and warm!

Timothy actually did the magic sets that had been passed around for a couple years, so I got him another.

Our calendar wasn't unexpected, but oh well. It was still nice.

If you're having trouble making that out, the caption for October is, Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Kristen loved her glow in the dark constellations as I thought she would.

We had some (no fancy colors and just simple stars and dots, though) when we were about her age, perhaps a bit older. Some of them  are still stuck above my bed and Melody's, and Kristen has asked me about them in that inquiring sort of manner kids have that lets you know they're a bit jealous.

She told Dad they were her favorite present, because they were in her hands when he asked her, and even slept with some of them.

Melody liked her hat too. So did I; I almost didn't give it to her. ;-) It was the only hat of that type at Saver's and exactly what I wanted. It fit her perfectly, and she wore it all day too. And no, I wasn't trying to get everyone head gear. It just sort of turned out that way.

We finally got to show Dad our picture, and he liked it. We aluminyzed it, which means it was printed on aluminum. 

I love understanding finally why people acted the way they did.

For example, Deanna was wrapping my gift which she was excited about. Then she said, "I'm not excited about your present any more." I wanted desperately to know why, but she obviously wouldn't say why. It was a strange sort of present, like a CD shape but with some large ring thing. I kept asking someone to hand me Deanna's, but they didn't see it until near the end of opening presents. When I opened it, it was a headband she had tried to return but couldn't and a note on a CD. She had been giving me Keith and Kristyn Getty's Christmas CD, and apparently when she was going to wrap it, she went to put some music on...and found that CD, which I got for Christmas last year. So she's going to exchange it for another one.

I love Kristen's reactions.

When she saw me put my headband on, she put hers on. If you think the front is interesting, you should have seen the back...

We made her wait to open this one for last. She was patient, but judging by her look, she really wanted to open it.

It was a doll, and she was very excited.

There is much more that could be said, but we shall move on.

I love the goofiness and fun. Paul opened a cool pop-up book, and Dad tried to tell him he was starting in the back, even though that would have made the words upside down...

This is spelled wrong on purpose.

The idea was that it would be thought for the Beerbower girls, when it was really for the Beerbower grill. It was a new grill cover. But we didn't realize it at first, because 99% of the time, something in our family isn't really what the box says.

Speaking of boxes...Deanna opened a generic box and revealed some orange and black cords. "Why did I get this?" she asked.

It was a legitimate concern, considering that there were a number of mislabeled (or one unlabeled...) presents.

"Because you need one," Dad said.

"Oh!" she said. "I thought it was an extension cord!" Meanwhile, Eric had been thinking he needed some jumper cables for his car. Eric opened some later. Dad had taken Deanna's out of the box so they wouldn't know they got the same thing.

I also liked my presents. They decided as they sometimes do that they should take a picture of me, even though my hair was looking odd.

A few of my favorite presents: the snuggie above, in awesome blue tie-dye, the yarn I'm holding to make a scarf, the skirts I picked out at Saver's, the scrapbook paper I picked out at Hobby Lobby, and were given to Melody (we share anyway), tights, especially gray ones, some shirts, my beaded headband, though it made my head sore, a five-subject notebook from Eric for school...and I may just end up listing everything now. Yellow nerds...pens...

I love Christmas after presents. There's the going over of presents, cleaning up (or, in my case, a nap), and then crazy loading up and heading to Aunt T's. Then it's fun stuff: eating-not real eating, but snacking on sloppy joe, Grandma's crackers and dip, scotcheroos, frosting-and then finally eating-ham, corn, seven-up salad, marshmallow stuff in addition to the above-games, talking, more snacking, pumpkin pie, laughing, going to the park, singing (and bellowing and dancing) along with Grandma on the piano, giving Grandma presents.

As always, I neglected to take pictures. Sometimes, I'm too tired, and I've started to realize why people are so thankful when I take pictures. It really does take time and energy, and you do miss things. I never quite understood before, because I enjoy it and didn't feel like it was a sacrifice. At any rate, I rarely feel like taking pictures at Aunt T's.

It's late and dark by the time we take Grandma down to her house and head home. We go into the cold house, looking like after Christmas-sort of empty living room, with presents in piles upstairs and stuff on the stairs, and stuff from Aunt T's soon stuck in the kitchen. Tired from a long day, we go to bed.

We celebrated Christmas Post (see last year's Christmas post) today with another thing I love, Les Miserables, the movie musical. Christmas Post is a sort of fun day, a recover from Christmas, a slow unwind on the good years like this one, crazy cleaning up while you don't feel like doing anything on others.


Christmas is over. Christmas day, that is.

But Christmas continues with Dad's side of the family and Christmas music and probably a few random presents that were forgotten or didn't come yet. It's not really over until January.

Which is good by me, 'cause I love Christmas.